Different Isn't Dangerous

Hello again! I have officially taken up my blog once again and plan on writing a new post every Tuesday (maybe more often as the Advent season is swiftly approaching). I believe that my recent experiences with the church have made me slightly less oblivious to the things going on around me. Therefore, I invite each and every one of you to comment below if you agree or disagree in any way with the things I say. I doubt everyone will agree... especially with this topic.

Gay marriage. Who cares if gay people want to get married? As a matter of fact, who cares if someone is gay? I don't understand why there are so many people out there that have such an issue with gay marriage and gay people. People are people, and even more importantly, everyone (whether you personally like them or not) is a child of God. I'm honestly waiting for some of the homophobic/ anti-gay readers to come at me with their Bible swords, unsheathed and prepared to argue... Please, I'm inviting any disagreement. I'm eager to see how someone can use a story of love to promote hate, judgment, marginalization, and condemnation.

Different is dangerous. Why is it that people who are different from you are oftentimes considered dangerous and a threat? Different people should be feared, and we need to protect ourselves from them and "their ways." I've heard this all before in so many ways... and let me tell you, I am sick and tired of it. "Do not judge, or you too shall be judged." Don't open someone else's closet if your aren't ready to reveal or own. So I say to the secular haters... please, I'm inviting your hypocritical disagreements.

Pure hate and nothing else. To me, it takes so much more effort to hate than to love. To hate, you are intentionally using your energy to promote conflict, dissension, pain, hurt, and fear. To love, you are letting go of unfair judgments and letting your heart do what it does naturally. I'm not saying it is easy to love, but I think it is certainly our homeostasis... our natural tendency. And we need a whole lot of love to battle the vast amounts of hate in this world,. So you, all of you, get to work!

Here is a quick read for everyone: Pastor Faces Church Sanctions for Officiating Same-Sex Marriage

^^Good for him!^^

"Now eagerly desire the greater gifts, and yet I will show you a still more excellent way."

I Corinthians 12:30-31

Related posts: General Conference [Not Assembly]

Spiritual Scars

It has been a long while since I wrote a blog post--almost a year and a half, as a matter of fact-- and so much has changed in that period of time. I no longer attend Princeton Seminary, I haven't been to a church willingly since April 29, 2012, and my observations about the Kingdom seem to have changed from "idealistic" to "realistic." At first, I thought it was anger that I felt toward the Church and God, but the more and more I thought about it over this time, it is actually frustration that I feel within myself. Permit me to give a little background before I jump right into my main point.

Bursting my bubble. If you were an avid reader of this blog, you may recall several posts where I referred to being in a Christian bubble while at seminary. Well, my bubble was torn open May 2, 2012 when my grandmother passed away. Without going into great detail, the only people I felt genuine support and sorrow from were non-church going friends and my predominantly non-believing family members. Furthermore, the church handled the funeral in a very "money-seeking," "members-only" kind of way. I was unable to receive communion because of my un-affiliation with the Catholic church, and I was rebuked for not kneeling before entering the altar area... "This is holy ground, ya know!" They treated "different" as "dangerous," and this is when I realized I left the safety of seminary.

By the numbers. It was hard to pretend that I was alright after the passing of my grandmother. The circumstances following her death, PTSem's handling of my "time-off" from May term, and financial burdens were among key factors in my decision not to return to Princeton. Since that decision...
     I have received ONE email from a pastor (a reply, actually).
     I have been contacted ZERO times by my session; ZERO times from my session or presbytery liaison.
     I answered THREE phone calls from a CPM secretary.
     I replied to TWO emails inquiring about my return to PTSem ("yes" or "no," not "why" emails).
     I received at least FIFTY facebook messages between two women from my church.
          -One of these women does not even work or attend there anymore; the other I have always admired.
          -ZERO messages, calls, or emails from everyone else.
Presbyterians have never rebuked me for standing on holy ground, but they have taught me to expect more in the way of hospitality, caring for others, and above all, love.

Spiritual Scars. I always wondered what it would feel like to have spiritual wounds. How badly would it hurt? Would it involve being angry and hating God? Would I feel bitter and resentful? Lost and broken? Would I come to no longer believe? I felt sad, lost, and frustrated... and maybe a little responsible and guilty. I used to think "If I didn't leave Princeton, maybe the church would not have turned its back on me..." I don't regret my decision to leave Princeton, but I do bear the spiritual scars from the consequences of that decision.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

#100

Greetings! This is official post number 100! Whoop whoop! For all of those who have read these posts from the beginning, I salute you--good work! This will be a relatively short, quick update.

CPM. I love meeting with this committee. There are some pretty awesome people in this group--friendly, funny, dedicated, humble, caring, etc etc. Oh, and they said yes to continuation of my status as inquirer. After I take the Bible Content exam in August, I will have to meet with them again. At this time, I hope to become a Candidate--so exciting.

Weekend in WC. It really wasn't the entire weekend... I arrived in beloved WC Saturday night and only stayed until Monday morning. I got to hang out with my college friends, which I haven't done since Christmas (which was shocking when I realized this). I went to church, spent the better part of Sunday with none other than DM (street fair, mall, and chinese food)--just like we used to do. We even got some Star Wars watching in while I was there! Fun fun fun.

Respite. My time in West Chester was also a time of rest for me. Rest from hockey. I didn't realize how much abuse hockey can do to your body until I woke up after a rest day and EVERYTHING was sore. I mean everything, too--back, arms, knees. When I got back, I went right back to the grind with a jr league practice, reffed a roller game, and then played in a roller game. I love it, though--every minute.

Weekends. My weekends are filling up with fun things, especially weddings, pretty quickly. I am trying to write in another visit to West Chester, but it may not be until late July. For all of you that I did not see and/or get a chance to talk to at church on Sunday, I hope to see you the next time I am in town. Until then, feel free to shoot me an email and let me know how you are doing! =)

I hope all of you are enjoying your summers! Peace.

"...never go down the drain!"

This week has flown by! Holy moley, where did it go already?! It's Friday, but it feels like a Monday! This is insane! I am going to attempt to recap the week, but I feel like I have lost it... it's just gone already! Sheesh! =)

Visiting Home. I have not been to my home church in I don't know how long, but it's been awhile. I know I have not worshiped there since Christmas... which is weird when I think about it. Fortunately, I was able to make it to the mid-week program this week, which just so happened to be the final week of it for the church-year! Phew, that was close! I brought a friend of mine, and we had a wonderful time. It was great to see all those wonderful, familiar faces, and First Pres WC has a way with hospitality! Every time I am there it feels like I never left! Also, great news for my church mom! HOOOORAY! =)

Saying Good-bye. Do you want to know something that I do not like? Saying good-bye. Yep, it's pretty much one of the worst things ever. The school-year is coming to a close here, and the first of my very dear friends has already departed, and I won't get to see him for three months! (Holy cow--that's too long)! There are many others friends who I also won't get to see for the entire summer because they have this whole love-thing going on for the West coast or whatever! But worst of all, there are friends that I won't get to see for an even longer time! International students (one Scottish friend, in particular) and graduating seniors won't be coming back in the fall! Ugh, this stinks! The only upside is the awesomeness of Skype... that is all.

Another good-bye we had to do as a community yesterday was a good-bye to all of the Youth Conference participants! This is a bitter sweet thing, but a necessary one nonetheless. The final sending-off was a worship service yesterday where none other than Kenda Dean was preaching. She is a pretty awesome preacher! She preached from Revelation 21, and took it in a very optimistic direction and related it to the the Youth Conference. She reminded us--quoting Mr. Rogers--that, "You'll never go down, never go down, never go down the drain!" Overall, very interesting and a good close to the conference.

Short-term class. My intensive course started today! Wooo Hooo! There is so much reading about "emerging adults," which I should probably be working on now, but my eyes need a break! The interesting thing is that I am reading about a demographic group that I am still a part of! Oh Sociology... it's been too long! Anyway, it was quite wonderful today, and I anticipate it being just as wonderful the next two and a half weeks! It also includes a field trip to DC and Virginia! Oh yeah! =)

Romans. I have a lot of "favorites" in the Bible, and sometimes they change quicker than I can keep track of. One of my favorite, favorite epistles is definitely Paul's letter to the Romans! Oh, and guess what? There is an entire conference just on that Epistle here at PTS next week! I can hardly wait! Three whole days of Romans--sounds all kinds of fantastical to me! It's going to be cha-awesome! Okay, I am geeking out a little bit here--sorry, moving on...

It's weird to think that I am very nearly 33% done with my education here at Princeton! Two more years to go! Yippee! I hope all is well with each of you! Please, continue to send me any prayer requests you may have. Blessings and Peace! =)



 

Before I came to Seminary: A Humble Job

Wrapping up my college years before I came to seminary:


30 hours a week. More than part time, but less than full time. That's the logic I used at the time. 30 hours at Giant grocery store each and every week. I must say, however, I am very grateful to have had that job. First and foremost, I was pretty darn good at it. I worked in the grocery department, and I seemed to have had a knack for all of the responsibilities. Time usually flew by while I was working because I enjoyed my job. The people there were wonderful, my bosses were fair, and the job itself was very hands on! 30 hours may not have been the most ideal situation on top of my work at the clinic, school, and time spent at church, but once I got into a routine--it worked out just fine.


Friday nights? Ah man! I worked every Friday night (with very few exceptions) all throughout college. We started price changes on Fridays, so we needed two people to work those nights. Fortunately, I was always with another college-aged, interesting person! Unfortunately, this means that I missed a lot of fun events on Friday nights. This is usually when my friends would go out on the town, or go out to eat, or go to the mall, or do something fun. I had my own routine, though--after work: Chinese food! Every Friday.

Rough Sundays. In retrospect, I am a little bit crazy. You see, Giant pays time and a half on Sundays, so I took advantage of this by working on Sundays. But, the thing is... church is on Sundays. So, I used to work really early Sunday morning or overnight Saturday night, so that I could get time and a half AND not miss any church. This usually took the form of my being awake for several hours before going to the 8am service, then to 9am Sunday school, then to the 10:30am service, then to noon breakfast with my roommates, then afternoon nap from 1-4:30pm, then back to the church, then 6pm Contemporary service, then 7pm youth group, then back home around 9pm to fall asleep almost immediately. I really like routines, so this worked well. Every Sunday.


Giant friends! One of the great things about Giant is all of the friends I made while working there. First and foremost, there are many college students who work there that I would not have otherwise met. WCU is a relatively big school (14,000 students), so I met a lot of people outside my major and outside my grade. I was also able to make friends with many of the full-timers--cover a shift once in awhile and bring cookies at Christmas time and you are golden! I got to know a number of people very well because my job was more of a team effort kind of thing, and when you work together with certain people for 30 hours a week, you get to know them pretty well. Finally, I met a lot of really awesome people who didn't work there, but shopped there. I am not the only one in this world that likes routine. Many a customer would show up at very particular times just like clockwork, and when you remember someone's name, they really appreciate it! Well anyway, I made a lot of wonderful friends that I still keep in touch with to this day, and for this I am grateful.

How this helps: Building routine, team-work & communication, networking.

Next Post: Ankle Breakin' Moves

Red Hymnals

Hello, and good day! Again, it has been quite a while since I have updated, and I will be trying to get better at it. I only have a few things to share, most of them about the beginning of Spring semester here at PTS. Before I do that, however, let me share with you my Sunday church experience.

1st Church. First Presbyterian Church of Weatherly [PC(USA)] in my home town was the first ever Presbyterian church I attended. To be completely honest, I wasn't even sure they were still a church (low membership numbers averaging about ten in worship on Sundays), but I was happy to be invited by my best buddy to go with her and her grandfather on Sunday. Usually, if I am home for a weekend, I just leave really early Sunday mornings and catch the worship service in West Chester on my way back to school. Last Sunday, I decided to stay and spend an extra half day in Weatherly. Anyway, I went to First Pres Weatherly: 11 in worship counting the organist, reusable bulletins, cold church, no kids, red hymnals (1955), RSV Bibles, one usher, one minister, and God. And that's all we needed.

New Classes! Hooray for variety! Ugh, I was getting tired and sick of all that Hebrew with nothing else to study to give me a break! But, lucky for me, I have five other classes in addition to Hebrew this semester!
     New Testament
     Hebrew Exegesis: Women in OT Narratives
     Pastoral Care: Theory and Practice
     Speech Communication: Body Language and Delivery
     Psalms in Christian Worship
     ASL (not for credit)
I am very excited about this lineup of classes, especially Psalms... well, and Pastoral Care... and Exegesis... and NT... and ASL... and Speech. I am just really, really excited about this semester! Whoop whoop!

Well, there is nothing else too crazy (minus the regular exciting things) going on over here in the Christian bubble, so I will update as more and more excitement enters my life. Until next time, God Bless! =)

New Year's Resolutions

Happy New Year! Whoo 2012, here we go! I hope everyone's New Year's Resolutions are off to a great start! For me, today begins at least four or five months of inaccurately dating all of my papers as "2011."

Interestingly enough, statistics show that it should only take me about 60 days to adjust, which is always a gross underestimation in my document-dating behaviors. This is because experts say it takes about 60 days to develop a new habit. 60 days. So get out your calendars, and mark March 1 as a day to check up on the progress you've made with your resolution. This same study also suggests being as specific and public about your resolutions as possible. For instance, instead of saying "I am going to eat healthier," make a list of foods you intend on eating, intend on not eating, and replacement foods. Also, being public keeps you more disciplined and committed to such a change of habit--so tell a few friends. Good luck!

Resolution. This word is defined as "a firm decision to do or not to do something." After reflecting on my past year (2011: An Awesome Year), I could not really come up with any ground breaking resolutions. Rather, I decided that I wanted to strengthen some of my current behaviors. For instance, I plan on reading the Book of Confessions more often (ever since I finished it in August, I've only referenced the Westminster Shorter Catechism a few times). Others include: listening for God, out-of-the-way kindness, public prayer, and intentional relationships (especially long-distance relationships). Each of these is articulated in more detail on post-its on my desk. Wish me luck!

Criminal Minds. Last week I had a real break. I literally had nothing to do, so I turned on the tube. Believe you me: I watched more television in the past two weeks than I did in the four months previous. It was pretty awesome to just sit back and relax. As I was flipping through channels, I found a new show: Criminal Minds. I love it, and I recommend trying it out. It reminds me of my days as a Psychology major doing Applied Behavioral Analysis work at the clinic.

Igloo Church. As I was browsing through a number of sites the other day, I found this:
http://global.christianpost.com/news/gods-igloo-snow-church-opens-in-germany-video-65954/

Awesome!

J-term. Well after a two week break from seminary, I begin the J term tomorrow with intensive Hebrew! 15 chapters in 3 weeks; quiz everyday, test every Friday. 15 days of Hebrew! Here we go! Wish me and my friends luck!

It's great to be back in Princeton, but it was also good to be in West Chester and the Poconos over break! January is going to be an interesting month! Good luck with all of your resolutions and Happy New Year! God Bless! =)

O Come, O Come Emmanuel

It's still ADVENT TIME!

Compliments to KO

O Come, O Come Emmanuel. So, some of you may be thinking: what is up with Ashley's obsession with Advent and especially with O Come, O Come Emmanuel? To you I would say--that's a fair question. First and foremost, I love love love advent! It's the most awesome time of the year for me, and when I feel closest to God (I'm sure it helps that the term "God with us" is thrown around all of the time during this season). As for the hymn, it's by far my favorite--although, I must admit that I am slightly disappointed that the Presbyterian Hymnal only includes three of eight verses. I am convinced this hymn it will never ever ever get old, and the words are very deep and meaningful! Read parts of Isaiah or Psalm 74 and then sing O Come, O Come Emmanuel--you'll get some goosebumps. =) ...well at least I do. 

Wait. You know, I'm starting to get pretty good at this waiting stuff. I get the vibe that many people do not particularly enjoy waiting, but I am usually not too antsy or impatient about things. I am one of those "savor-the-journey" kind of people, and not a "get-to-the-destination" person. This is not to say that there is anything wrong with the latter. Quite on the contrary, I would argue that I am the weird one. This is probably another reason I love advent. If, however, you cannot relate to me... you may be able to relate to many Psalmist who proclaim, "How long, O Lord..." So, crack open those Bibles right to the middle and check out what some of the psalmists have to say about waiting!

Candlelight Christmas Concert. You know what else I love? My church! Uh huh, that's right--best church in the world if you ask me! =) This is why I was oober excited about today! I went to Sunday school, Worship, and then.... to the Candlelight Christmas Concert where there was SINGING and MUSIC and HYMNS and SINGING and O COME, O COME EMMANUEL and AWESOMENESS and ADVENT EVERYWHERE and DECORATIONS and PEOPLE and FELLOWSHIP and COOKIES! Oh what a wonderful day! And my brother even joined me for the concert! I am so grateful for how ridiculously blessed I am! I hope and pray that I am blessed to be a blessing unto others!

CPE. And finally, as if this amazing second Sunday of advent could not get any better, I got an acceptance email from a Clinical Pastoral Education center in North Dakota! Whooo! I'm gonna see what God has to say about this before I dive in headfirst, and I ask, if you're feeling up to it, that you pray for it too! =)

Well, that is certainly enough rambling for one night! I hope all of your advents are going well! All the best and God bless!

Surprise! A care package!

Two things stand between me and Advent: Hebrew midterm (Monday) and Thanksgiving (Thursday). I intend on spending a good portion of the weekend wrestling Hebrew, and then the beginning parts of next week waiting for Advent (which is kinda funny, in a way-- I'm waiting to wait). Anyway, I did not anticipate these study sessions to be filled with snacks, candy, sticky notes, new pens, and encouraging letters... BUT I was surprised to receive a package confirming that, in all actuality, they will be filled with such wonderful things:

Care package from good 'ol First Pres WC!

Thank you First Pres West Chester! I miss you all so much! I am very grateful to have such a wonderful church! God willing, I will see you all the first Sunday of Advent (27 November)! I can't wait! =) In the meantime, have a marvelous Christ the King Sunday! 

And now with joyful gladness, I wait all the more eagerly for Advent.

"I have heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love toward all the saints, and for this reason I do not cease to give thanks for you all as I remember you in my prayers. I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of Glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation as you come to know him, so that, with the eyes of your heart enlightened, you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance among the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power for us who believe, according to the working of his great power."  

Paul's Letter to the Church in Ephesus Chapter 1:15-19

A Very Lutheran Sunday

Today was such a beautiful day! The crisp air that follows a snowfall like yesterday's epic storm is something that I look forward to every year. I was not quite expecting it this early, though.

Anyway, today also defied my expectations in another way. Since it is Reformation Sunday, some of us decided to go to a Lutheran church! Yay! Well, that and one of my very best friends has been dying to go to one since she arrived here at seminary, so what better day to do so?! We went to Abiding Presence Lutheran Church in Ewing, NJ as recommended by the director of music here, Martin Tel. It was pretty sweet, and also my first time at a traditional Lutheran service. I'd like to point out some notable details:

Music Music Music. Liturgy Liturgy Liturgy. Holy moley! Being the Presbyterian that I am, I was overwhelmed (in a good way) with the vast amount of music! Whoa! 5 hymns including one of my all time favorites--The Church's One Foundation. We also sang Listen, God is Calling and, of course, A Mighty Fortress is Our God (and two others that I do not remember off the top of my head). Another interesting thing about Lutheran worship is the liturgy... and the vast amounts of it. 

3rd person pronoun. What's that? Now, I am not entirely certain if this is a Lutheran thing or just a characteristic of this particular church, but God was not once referred to in the 3rd person pronoun. Even in situations where it seemed almost natural to use a "He," the ministers avoided it. I admire such efforts, especially since all of my OT papers need to be written in such a manner. 

Stick to Scripture. Another notable difference than the typical Presbyterian worship service I am used to was the nature of the sermon. There was not a single story, allusion, or anaolgy used. It was straight Bible, straight theology, straight confession, straight creed, straight Jesus, straight Scripture. ...and that's it. Pft, no need for anything else in this Lutheran church.

Dismissal. I'm used to just ending worship with a Benediction, but not here. They end with, "Go in peace. Serve the Lord. Thanks be to God," which I like very much!! Overall, it was a great experience; I am very glad I went.

Another Reformation event that happened tonight was a Lutheran group gathering on the steps of the seminary chapel. I went with some of my Lutheran friends. A retired Lutheran professor came and just gave us some informal history on Martin Luther and the 95 thesis. It was very interesting. Then, Martin Luther showed up and taped them to the door of the chapel!! 

Then we all sang A Mighty Fortress is Our God! After that we got group pictures with Martin Luther and the 95 theses:

All in all it was a really excellent day! I thank God for all of my dear Lutheran friends! I love them all very much! And all of my other non-Lutheran friends as well! Oh, what great adventures we all have here at seminary! =)

Cheesesteaks and Tastykakes

Let me just begin by apologizing for my lack of blogging over the past few days! Despite the fact that it is reading week here at PTSem, I have simply not taken the time to sit down and collect my thoughts from the past few days.

Anyway, yesterday was a wonderful, fantastic, fun-filled day! A few friends and myself decided to set the academics aside and leave them behind while we all took a nice little day trip in the the city of brotherly love--good 'ol Philly. Now, being the native Pennsylvanian that I am, I have been to Philly more times than I could count (not to mention my undergrad institution is about 40 minutes away from it). My dear friends on the other hand have never been there; after all, they are all from lands far far away from Philly. So this trip was bound to be filled with a lot of firsts!

Our first stop in the city was "Love Park." You know, that dinky little park on JFK Blvd with a cool fountain and historic love sign. Despite the fact that city officials already drained the fountain, it was very pretty and a whole lot of fun. We definitely looked like tourists with our cameras and smiling faces, though. Check it out:

 
"It's a lot smaller than I thought it would be..."


Next mission was to head over to Pat's and Geno's for some lunch. Cheesesteaks! Yay! Again, this was a first for everyone except myself. Sooo, we split into two groups and got cheesesteaks from both Pat's and Geno's. This way, we could split them and all try famous cheesesteaks from both places! So clever...

"Whiz wit..."

Our final stop in the city was historic Independence Hall. Unfortunately, they were doing some construction. BUT, we found some geocaches around the area, got some interesting pictures, and were able to see the Liberty Bell! Yay!

"That building is a lot bigger on the inside. You guys missed out."

After the city, we are trekked to my alma mater--West Chester! Except we didn't go to my school (we went somewhere that has had an even more significant influence upon my life than my undergrad), we went to First Pres Church West Chester for the Bridge program. Despite the consensus of the regulars that it was a "light" and "slow" night as compared to most Wednesday evenings there, we all still had a blast! For me, it's been far too long! I was finally home again. AND I got to bring my awesome friends with me (and they all seemed to have a good time too)! We ate some homemade, yummy food, met with all the amazing people at the church, participated in a contemporary worship service (which I was craving in the worst way), and we decorated a door for Halloween! All in all it was pretty fantastic!

"Your church makes me miss my church!" 

Before we made our way home, we stopped at Wawa for some Tastykakes (another first for everyone except myself) and Pumpkin coffee! The entire day just proved to me even more how incredibly lucky and blessed I am to have such great friends and such an amazing church!

Stay tuned for some reflections on alumni/reading week! May the peace of Christ be with each of you!

P.S. Additional photos can be found on my facebook page in days to come (including ones from the church).